So I tackled the obvious parts first. I found a recipe that I could work off of, which goes something like this:
STEP 1: The dough
For the sponge:
1 tsp instant yeast.
4 cups flour (What kind, you wonder, I'll get to this later)
2 &1/2 cups water
For the dough:
1/2 tsp instant yeast
3 &3/4 cups flour
3 tsp salt
1 Tbsp barley malt syrup
2 tsp sugar (I left that out)
I got good results with the sponge by pre warming a big glass bowl with hot water for a minute or two, then adding tap water at 115 Degrees F, then adding the yeast to the warm water and letting the yeast activate for a bit. A few minutes.
Then add the flour and mix it up until everything's incorporated Don't worry about the texture too much at this point, because the kneading comes later. Let this sit until doubled, usually a couple of hours. Of course, if you've ever baked ANY bread AT ALL you know this time will vary greatly with the ambient temperature. Basically let it double, and forget about time.
Next comes the dough. After the sponge is doubled, add the malt syrup to the sponge and mix it in until completely incorporated.
mix the remaining dry ingredients seperately, then add them to the sponge, until you have a mixture that's ready to knead. I get good results for mixing the ingredients with a flour whisk I bought online from King Arthur Flour, like this:
Since I don't have a mixer, and can't afford one right now, I did all the kneading by hand. It builds character. So knead for at least 10 minutes, until sufficiently doughy and pliable. Once that's done, the doughs ready to roll into bagel shapes.
STEP 2: The bagels
Split the dough into 12 bagel size pieces, and roll into a thick short rope that's tapered at the ends, and pinch and roll ends together to make a bagel shape.
Put these onto a greased baking sheet and let rest at room temp until they start to rise, about 20-25 minutes. Then wrap them loosely with plastic wrap, and stick in for the big chill.
STEP 3: The overnight proof
Why proof overnight? Well, this allows fermenation to continue without rising the dough. Acetic acid production peaks at temps between 50-60 Deg F, and this is what gives bread a bite.
Does this really matter?? More on this later...
STEP 4: The difference between bread and bagels: BOILING
So it's a new day. Take the damn bagels out of the refigerator and let them warm up to room temperature. While that's happening Get a very big pot of water boiling and, once the bagels are room temp, put them in the water 3-4 at a time, just make sure they have enough room to move around. Boil 3 minutes a side, remove them, and top them with whatever you want. We chose poppy seeds. Here's a pic of the boiled, not baked bagels:

STEP 4B:Baking in a HOT oven.
Bake the bagels hot hot hot! 500 degrees F oughta do it. I had to cook mine for about 12 minutes, and here's the end result

Here's the inside:

Looks about right, right? Look closer. Look at the color of the bagel. I MADE WHOLE WHEAT BAGELS! What the hell happened, you ask? More on that later.
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